It’s not you, it’s me.
That’s what all those diet services should tell you when you find yourself here again, having gained back the weight you once lost on their plan. For the second time.
It’s the same story everywhere: The plan works for a while until it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, it really doesn’t. A stall in your progress turns into a downward spiral you can’t seem to control or even explain. Then you’re right back where you started, or worse.
But here’s what those services won’t tell you…
Even though you’re responsible for the diet decisions you make, you’re trying to build a success on a lie they’re selling you. And that lie is willpower.
Let’s put willpower in perspective
Try putting it another way.
Someone hands you one of those classic childhood toys that has toddlers pair differently shaped wood blocks with holes that correspond to the same shapes. Then they tell you to fit the square block through the round hole. When, obviously, it won’t go through, they tell you to just try harder. Now, what do you think is going to happen?
Yes, you can beat your fists bloody trying to pound that square block into the round hole, but are you going to make any progress? No. And you might just break something along the way.
What you’re left with is pain, frustration, and a broken system.
The person giving orders is the diet service you’re trying. Maybe it’s a company selling a one-size-fits-all plan. Maybe it’s a “diet guru.” Maybe it’s even a private coach.
I know you’re tired. I know you’re frustrated. I know you’re ready to give in. But don’t let them tell you it’s your fault when they asked you to do something impossible.
So what is your responsibility?
Let’s get this straight. Although the pain and frustration that comes from this lie that you can just try harder in order to find diet success is largely the fault of whoever’s trying to sell it to you, you’re not completely blameless here.
Yes, you gave it your all. Yes, you did what you were told. But what happened when the process stalled?
If you said screw it and went all in on foods that were off the plan or even overate foods that weren’t, that was your decision. You have every right to be mad when someone sells you a service that doesn’t work for you or your body. But throwing in the towel and going off the rails are your own choices and your own responsibility. And, more importantly, making those bad decisions will only affect you, not the people or service with which you’re frustrated.
But let’s say you already went there. You already binged, and your weight is back up.
Does that mean you lack the willpower to lose weight and reach your goals? Does that doom you to be forever unhappy with your weight or your body? Does that mean that you wouldn’t be here if you just tried harder? No, no, and no.
Here are the truths the diet industry won’t tell you:
- Making bad choices is not lacking willpower.
Just trying harder won’t stop bad choices.
Choices are not who you are.
Choices are not your future or your fate.
You do have the power to make good choices.
The foundation of good choices is not just try harder.
Read these things. Memorize them. You need to know them.
Check back later when I’ll go into each of these points more in the future, or reach out to me for coaching. You can learn to make good decisions, consistently, that will get you to your goals. And it has absolutely nothing to do with willpower or just trying harder. We’re in this together now.